Tips for Smoothing a Transition to Assisted Living or Nursing Home
Few people look forward to moving from their private home or apartment into an Assisted Living Facility (ALF) or Nursing Home. No matter how nicely appointed your facility may be, it’s just not the same as the home someone took a lifetime creating.
Stress may increase for the older adult and for the family caregiver. Here are a few tips that you can do to help new residents and their families have a successful transition and reduce conflict.
Remind the family members to be patient. Tempers are more likely to flare and emotions may be raw between the resident and his or her family members. Ask them to make a decision to be patient with each other, as it may not come easily.
Help them to adjust their expectations. Help to reduce the risk of anger or disappointment if things don’t go like clockwork during transition. The transition will go more smoothly if the family is well informed and knows the steps involved in the transition process.
Encourage the family members to talk about feelings. Sometimes, feelings are obvious and folks are not short on letting you know how disgusted, angry, or sad they are. However, the older adult needs to know that the caregiver truly “gets it” in terms of the life transition he/she is facing. Some older adults put on a brave front to save the caregiver from extra worry. Encourage the resident to share his or her feelings. Research from the Geriatric Psychiatry Alliance (1993) shows that up to 60% of ALF or NH residents suffer from depression during their stay.
Recommend good boundaries. During and after the move, some older adults can develop a sense of entitlement (“You’re not calling me. You don’t come to visit. Take me to my appointment this week,” etc.). Encourage family members to share their schedule with the resident and try not to fall into a guilt trap that can begin to take its toll on the family member’s health as well!
About the Author:
Patti Bertschler is a licensed professional clinical counselor (Ohio), mediator and co-author of two books on Elder Mediation. Her latest book, Elder Mediation: A New Solution to Age-Old Problems (© 2009) is available by visiting www.ncsmediation.com or by calling (216) 236-6200. Patti and her husband, Dr. John Bertschler, are owners of Northcoast Conflict Solutions, a counseling, mediation and training practice in Seven Hills, OH.